Chapter 10: You've Got Global Issues

"I can't believe you aren't excited about high school," Jane says over a game of chess. "I can't wait to start taking classes. Especially science classes! This baking soda volcano stuff is for babies."

"School's just not my thing," James mutters. "I'm not a nerd like you. That's why you've won the past six games."

"But they have art classes in high school!" Jane says brightly. "You like art! You kind of stink at it, but you like it."

James gives a slight smile. "That's true. I'd like to learn about art. I'm actually pretty good at it. Dad says so. You're the one who stinks at art."

"Yeah, well, who needs art anyway? Not me! I just want to study science."

James makes a gagging noise.

"It's not my fault you're not a genius and can't appreciate science."

"You're not a genius. You're a nerd!"

"Yeah, well, you're a dunce." Jane is proud of the latest insult she learned while surfing the web.

"Oh yeah? Well you're a...wait, do you hear something?"

The sound of an out of tune, drawling cowboy drifts through the air.

"Not again," Jane grumbles. Robert's warbling gets louder, and the twins plug their ears.

Hello, walls.
How'd things go for you today?
Don't you miss her?
Since she up and waaaaaaaaaaalked away...

"I think Dad's lost his marbles," James whispers. "Nobody normal talks to the walls."

Jane looks at her brother quizzically. "Since when did you think Dad was normal?"

And I'll bet you dread to spend 
Another lonely night with meeeee.
But lonely walls I'll keep you company....

"If he's this bad when Mom's away on a trip, what's going to happen if Mom ever really leaves him?"

Hello, ceiling.
I'm going to stare at you awhile.

"He's going to start a country-rock band, that's what," Jane replies, grimacing. "It'll be awful. We'll lose all our friends and never be able to eat in the lunchroom again." She raises her voice. "Dad! Can't you sing something else?"

You know I can't sleep,
So won't you bear with me awhiiiiiiiiiiile?

"I don't know about the ceiling, but we won't!" Jane shouts.

We must all stick together 
Or else I'll lose my mind

"Too late," James says, shaking his head.

I've got a feeling
She'll be gone a long, long tiiiiiiiiiiiiime.

"DAD!"

Standing in the shower, Robert chuckles. He never realized how much fun it was to be an unhip, uncool dad.   "Spanish moss, a hangin' down," he starts singing, "sweeter than the southern love we've found..."

It's the middle of the night when Robert hears the door creak open and the thud of a suitcase being set down. The physical exhaustion and the emotional drain of the past several weeks is evident on her face. Wordlessly, he pulls Elizabeth into his arms and holds her, the way he's wanted to hold her every night since she left.

"I made it in time," she says quietly. "I thought I wasn't going to."

"In time for what, darling?"

"Phillippa and the twins have birthdays next week. I thought I was going to miss them..."

"Well you aren't, so no worries." He takes a long look at his wife. "They finally let you come home?"

"The evidence is all inconclusive," Elizabeth says glumly. "They finally realized that Mary and I aren't suspects and all their leads are dead. They found the salt shaker with the peanut dust mixed into the salt, but the prints aren't in the system. The security camera shows a cook shaking the mixture onto his last meal, but they gave her a lie detector test, and she passed. She says she had no idea peanut dust was in there."

"Was John Hardwick a suspect?"

"He was, yes, but he has an alibi. So do his top employees."

"That means little to you, I'm sure."

Elizabeth snorts. "It means nothing to me. He's the only one with any desire to hurt Edward that knew about the allergy. He's getting away with murder."

"I'm sorry, love."

"I'm sorry it's ended this way, but I'm not sorry to be home."

Robert hugs her again. "I'm not sorry you're home, either."

The children are thrilled to have their mother home. Jane wastes no time filling Elizabeth in on the events that transpired during her absence.

"Catherine only fed us cereal. It was awful. We probably have, like, scurvy or some other disease."

"Jane, dear, I highly doubt you have scurvy."

Catherine rolls her eyes. She has more important information to tell her mother, but she'd rather do it in private.

"What did you want to tell me, Catherine?"

"I have a boyfriend now, Mom!"

"Really? That's wonderful, honey!"

"Isn't it? He's perfect Mom, he's smart, he's funny, he's sweet and he's so cute!"

"I'm happy for you, dear," Elizabeth says, smiling. "What's his name?"

"It's Carmen. Carmen Raleigh. You've met him, you're friends with his mom, right?"

Elizabeth stiffens. "I know his mother, yes," she says. "How long have you been dating?"

"Just a few weeks. We got together right after you left."

"I see." Elizabeth doesn't know the young man at all, but she has a bad feeling about him. She's certain that Carmen is going to use Catherine the way Bess used Elizabeth in high school. "Honey, how well do you know Carmen?"

Catherine stares at her mother. This was not the response she was expecting. "Mom, he was my best friend in grade school. We know each other pretty well."

"I don't think you should date him," Elizabeth says abruptly.

"Wha-what?"

"I'm sorry honey, but I don't want you hanging around him. He is bad news. His entire family is bad news."

"What do you mean he's bad news?" Catherine demands angrily. "You're friends with his mother, and you're telling me that I can't date him because he's bad news? He's a perfectly nice guy, Mom. What's your problem?"

"I was friends with his mother, but not any more. It's too complicated to explain, Catherine..."

"Mom, I need a reason.," Catherine says, glaring. "You can't just tell me not to see him. Tell me why you've got a problem with me dating him."

"I don't have to explain myself to you!" Elizabeth yells. She hadn't intended on yelling, but after weeks of bottling her frustrations, it's almost cathartic. "I'm your mother, and I know what's best for you! That family is nothing but a bunch of lying, manipulative scum who have no qualms about using or hurting other people to get what they want!"

"You don't know anything about Carmen!" Catherine yells back. "He wouldn't do anything to hurt me! Please." Her voice softens. "Please, Mom, give him a chance."

"I made that mistake once," Elizabeth says darkly. "I've paid dearly for it. I'm not letting you make the same mistake I did."

"I don't know what your problem is with Mrs. Raleigh," Catherine says angrily. "But Carmen isn't her! He's his own person! He's a sweet guy who plays piano and has a great sense of humor. You haven't given me one good reason not to date him."

"I certainly did. Why can't you just understand that I'm trying to protect you?"

"Why cant YOU understand that you don't know ANYTHING about Carmen?"

"What's going in on in here?" Robert pokes his head in the room.

"Catherine just told me she's dating Bess's boy," Elizabeth informs her husband.

Robert narrows his eyes. "I see. How long have you been dating him, Catherine?"

"Just for a few weeks," Catherine mutters. "We've only gone on a couple dates. We mostly do homework together."

"I see. Do you like him?"

Her face lights up. "Oh, yes! He's so sweet and smart! He's a really good piano player. We just talk for hours about everything."

"Well, so far he sounds like a dream come true," Robert says. "I'm happy for you, sweetheart. Your mom and I will talk things over, but I think we can agree it wouldn't hurt us to give him a chance." He eyes his wife. "But if he says anything that sounds strange or asks you strange questions, you tell us right away. Promise?"

"Promise," Catherine replies, smiling from ear to ear. "Thanks, Dad!"

As soon as Catherine leaves, Elizabeth turns to Robert. "I distinctly remember it was you who was suspicious of Bess when she first moved here. Since when are you so trusting?"

"Well, you did say there was no conclusive evidence indicating Hardwick had your brother murdered..." He shifts uncomfortably as Elizabeth glares at him. "Honey, I'm sorry, but do you really think forbidding her from dating him is really going to stop her? Besides, she doesn't know anything that would be useful to the Hardwicks. Why don't we just let them do their thing for now and see what happens?"

"No," Elizabeth says, turning and leaving the room. "I won't see my daughter used the way I was."

Carmen preying on Catherine is the last straw. She needs to confront Bess. The harrassment has to stop now. In the back of her mind, a little voice tells her that she's being irrational, that it's perfectly logical that Catherine might actually want to date Carmen. Her frustration causes her to disregard that voice.

Bess greets her with a cheery smile. "Elizabeth! How are you? I don't have much time, I've got practice in a half hour..."

"Save the pleasantries," Elizabeth snaps. "You've got some nerve, you know that? Acting like we're friends while secretly trying to ruin my life!"

"I have no idea what you are talking about," Bess replies uncomfortably.

"Don't you lie to me," Elizabeth hisses. "You've been keeping track of my whereabouts ever since you moved her. You befriended me just to use me to gain information about my family's company for your father, just like you did in high school!"

"I - I just thought you'd want a familiar face around..."

"YOU MURDERED MY BROTHER, YOU WRETCH!" Elizabeth shouts. "You heard me mention that he was allergic to peanuts and passed that information on to your father! The cops don't have any evidence, but I know you and your father are behind it. He had just graduated from high school, Bess!  What kind of woman is an accomplice in the murder of a teenager?"

"Elizabeth..."

"And now I come home to find that you've dragged my daughter into this mess by getting your son to date her. How dare you use my daughter to keep tabs on me! You're no better than your father! He used you when we were in school and now you are using your son against my daughter! I cannot believe you've sunk this low." She takes a breath. "You know, when I first saw you here, I thought maybe you came here to avoid your father, too. Robert was always suspicious of you, but I gave you the benefit of the doubt. I see he was right to doubt your intentions."

"Elizabeth," Bess says weakly, "you have to believe me. I had nothing - NOTHING - to do with your brother's death."

"You're the only one who knew he was allergic to peanuts!" Elizabeth fumes. "Nobody else knew except our staff! The only way your father found out is because YOU told him!"

"Has it ever crossed your mind that I broke contact with my father?" Bess hisses. Elizabeth stares at her, confused.

"You aren't the only one who had had enough of their greedy parents. I stopped talking to my dad years ago. Margaret had done some research and suggested we move here. I had no idea you were here. I thought we could wipe the slate and be friends again. I've tried to make up for what I did in high school, but I see you still don't trust me."

"You've never given me any reason to," Elizabeth snarls. "Enemies can be just as friendly as allies."

"Enemies? Allies? Girl, what is wrong with you?" Bess asks exasperatedly. "We're not in a war zone. This isn't Band of Brothers. We aren't those Hatfield and McCoy people. "

"We might as well be," Elizabeth says bitterly. "Our families certainly are."

"Which is why we moved. We both wanted to get away from those nutters. I told you, I didn't have a thing to do with your brother getting killed. I think it's a real shame and I'm sorry. But I didn't tell my dad anything about peanuts. Why would I help my dear old dad? He's despicable."

Elizabeth stares at the ground for a moment. "Because he's family?"

"Hardwick blood isn't that thick. I don't owe him any favors."

"You still had your son start dating my daughter to keep tabs on our family."

"I did no such thing. If Carmen told me the truth, it was your precious daughter who asked him out!" Bess stares at Elizabeth. "You've got issues, girl. Global issues."

Elizabeth glares. "Like you don't."

Bess chuckles half-heartedly. "Never said I didn't. But seriously, you should probably talk to somebody with a license. Now, if you've finished spouting off your nonsense, I've got practice to get to. "

Defeated, Elizabeth turns to leave. "I still don't believe you, you know," she says over her shoulder. "You've lied to me before."

"Anybody ever tell you you're paranoid, Elizabeth?"

"My father always said that just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they aren't out to get you."

"Great minds think alike," Bess replies with a bitter smile. "My dad said the same darn thing."

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Fight, fight, fight! That should have been the title of this chapter. So. Much. Yelling.

I initially wrote a much more eloquent (in my opinion) fight scene between Bess and Elizabeth. Then I remembered I characterized her as a gossipy type. So I had to revise a bit. Whoops!

Next chapter will have a trifecta of birthdays for the three younger children and less angsty material. Scratch that. I finally settled on a conclusion and it fits in best in the next chapter. The fluff will come in two chapters. Just one more chapter of angst, promise! Not much else interesting is happening, challenge-wise. Robert is still writing away and Elizabeth will finally be moving on to her second job (stupid job hopper) in the next chapter or two.

Lyrics are from Faron Young's "Hello, Walls" and Gordon Lightfoot's "Spanish Moss," I actually love country and folk music, amongst other genres. Don't judge me. Incidentally, we took a family trip to FL when I was a kid and I insisted we visit the Seminole Native American History museum on the reservation there. The museum has a beautiful cypress dome filled with all sorts of plant life. One of the plants in the dome was actually spanish moss, so of course my father starts belting out "Spanish Moss." Because he's just that cool.

The title comes from a family inside joke. There was a history/social studies class in high school that was extremely difficult called Global Issues. I didn't have to take it, but my brother and cousin did and we started referring to difficulties as "global issues." We are such a dorky family.

I'm sorry I haven't updated so long. I've recently started graduate school and the workload is twice what I was dealing with as an undergrad. I'm reading 5+ articles a week, reading a book a week, writing weekly responses, working on papers and presentations...it's ridiculous. So my updates will be a bit slower during the year, but I'm not abandoning the challenge. No way, no how. :-)